1 00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:06,340 [light chime music] 2 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:13,450 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,145 - [sighs] 4 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,280 [door clicks open] 5 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,250 - Eleanor? 6 00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:22,757 Come on in. 7 00:00:22,757 --> 00:00:25,687 Hi, Eleanor. I'm Michael. 8 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:26,761 How are you today? 9 00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:28,091 - I'm great. 10 00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:29,595 Thanks for asking. 11 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,627 Oh, one question. 12 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:32,632 Where am I? 13 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,102 Who are you? And what's going on? 14 00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:36,337 - Right, so, 15 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,237 you, Eleanor Shellstrop, 16 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,299 are dead. 17 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:40,766 Your life on Earth has ended, 18 00:00:40,775 --> 00:00:42,805 and you are now in the next phase 19 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:46,110 of your existence in the universe. 20 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:49,381 - Cool. 21 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,652 Cool. I have some questions. 22 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,120 - Thought you might. [chuckles] 23 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,120 - How did I die? 24 00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:55,521 I-I don't remember. 25 00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:57,323 - Yes, um, 26 00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:59,124 in cases of traumatic or embarrassing deaths, 27 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:03,596 we erase the memory to allow for a peaceful transition. 28 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,627 Are you sure you want to hear? 29 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:08,769 All right, so you were in a grocery store parking lot. 30 00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,738 You dropped a bottle of something called 31 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:14,068 "Lonely Gal Margarita Mix for One." 32 00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:16,135 And when you bent down to pick it up, 33 00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:18,612 a long column of shopping carts 34 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:21,449 that were being returned to the shopping cart collection area 35 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:25,079 rolled out of control and plowed right into you. 36 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:26,316 - Oof. 37 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,350 That's how I died? 38 00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:28,622 - No, sorry, there's more. 39 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,157 You were able to grab on 40 00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:31,787 to the front of the column of shopping carts, 41 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:34,092 but it swept you right out into the street 42 00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:35,755 where you were struck and killed 43 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:39,533 by a mobile billboard truck advertising 44 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:43,637 an erectile dysfunction pill called "Engorge-ulate." 45 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,067 Funnily enough, the first EMT to arrive 46 00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:47,241 was an ex-boyfriend of yours-- 47 00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:48,671 - Okay, that's-- I get it, thank you. 48 00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,036 - Oh, okay, sorry. 49 00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,213 - Um, so who was right? 50 00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:55,049 I mean about all of this? 51 00:01:55,049 --> 00:01:57,779 - Well, let's see. Hindus are a little bit right, 52 00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,585 Muslims a little bit. 53 00:01:59,587 --> 00:02:02,187 Jews, Christians, Buddhists, 54 00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:05,459 every religion guessed about 5%, 55 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,027 except for Doug Forcett. 56 00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,487 - Who--who's Doug Forcett? 57 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,596 - Well, Doug was a stoner kid 58 00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:13,398 who lived in Calgary during the 1970s. 59 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,600 One night, he got really high on mushrooms, 60 00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:18,103 and his best friend, Randy, said, 61 00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:20,535 "Hey, what do you think happens after we die?" 62 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:24,341 And Doug just launched into this long monologue 63 00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:27,175 where he got like 92% correct. [chuckles] 64 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,481 I mean, we couldn't believe what we were hearing. 65 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,383 That's him, actually, right up there. 66 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,385 He's pretty famous around here. 67 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,017 I'm very lucky to have that. 68 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,090 - So... - [chuckles] 69 00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:37,320 - Maybe my biggest question: 70 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,624 am I-- 71 00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:41,286 I mean, is this... 72 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,598 Or... 73 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,767 - Well, it's not the 74 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:50,367 heaven or hell idea that you were raised on. 75 00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,501 But generally speaking, 76 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,336 in the afterlife, there's a Good Place 77 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:58,512 and there's a Bad Place. 78 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,147 You're in the Good Place. 79 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,277 - [exhales sharply] - You're okay, Eleanor. 80 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,183 You're in the Good Place. 81 00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:05,715 - Well, that's good. 82 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,719 - Sure is. [laughs] 83 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,491 Okay, let's take a walk, shall we? 84 00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:14,059 - Oh, did I have a purse? 85 00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:16,461 No, I'm dead, right. Okay. 86 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:19,463 [bright instrumental music] 87 00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:21,466 ♪ ♪ 88 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,098 - So this is how it works. 89 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:26,307 The Good Place is divided into distinct neighborhoods. 90 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:29,777 Each one contains exactly 322 people 91 00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,707 who have been perfectly selected 92 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:35,749 to blend together into a blissful harmonic balance. 93 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,179 - Do all the neighborhoods look like this? 94 00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:39,585 - No, every neighborhood is unique. 95 00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:41,547 Some have warm weather, some cold. 96 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,015 Some are cities, some farmland. 97 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:47,094 But in each one, every blade of grass, 98 00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:48,362 every ladybug, 99 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,497 every detail has been 100 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,427 precisely designed and calibrated 101 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:53,701 for its residents. 102 00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:56,237 - There's a lot of frozen yogurt places. 103 00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:57,637 - Yeah. [sighs] 104 00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,498 That's the one thing we put in all the neighborhoods. 105 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,306 People love frozen yogurt. 106 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,438 I don't know what to tell you. 107 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:06,113 You're gonna have a million more questions, I know. 108 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,448 For right now, 109 00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:08,548 better grab a seat. 110 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:11,549 Movie's about to begin. 111 00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:14,652 [indistinct chatter] 112 00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:17,323 Ah. [chuckles] 113 00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:20,343 Hello, everyone. 114 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:23,363 And welcome to your first day in the afterlife. 115 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:26,734 You were all, simply put, good people. 116 00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:29,203 But how do we know that you were good? 117 00:04:29,203 --> 00:04:31,472 How are we sure? 118 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,172 During your time on Earth, 119 00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,742 every one of your actions 120 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:38,078 had a positive or a negative value, 121 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:40,308 depending on how much good or bad 122 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,783 that action put into the universe. 123 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,219 Every sandwich you ate, 124 00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:47,119 every time you bought a magazine, 125 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:49,621 every single thing you did 126 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,660 had an effect that rippled out over time 127 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:56,330 and ultimately created some amount of good or bad. 128 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:58,399 You know how some people pull into the breakdown lane 129 00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,429 when there's traffic? 130 00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,433 And they think to themselves, 131 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:03,434 "Ah, who cares? No one's watching." 132 00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,097 We were watching. 133 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,135 Surprise. 134 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,158 [laughter] 135 00:05:08,158 --> 00:05:10,177 Anyway, when your time on Earth has ended, 136 00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:13,407 we calculate the total value of your life 137 00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:16,550 using our perfectly accurate measuring system. 138 00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:19,550 Only the people with the very highest scores, 139 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,121 the true cream of the crop, 140 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,290 get to come here, to the Good Place. 141 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,720 What happens to everyone else, you ask? 142 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,876 Don't worry about it. 143 00:05:27,877 --> 00:05:30,027 The point is, you are here because you lived 144 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,598 one of the very best lives 145 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,067 that could be lived. 146 00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:35,397 And you won't be alone. 147 00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:38,138 Your true soul mate is here too. 148 00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:39,598 [crowd gasps and murmurs] That's right. 149 00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:41,586 Soul mates are real. 150 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,577 One of the other people in your neighborhood 151 00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,607 is your actual soul mate, 152 00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:49,550 and you will spend eternity together. 153 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:52,219 So welcome to eternal happiness. 154 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,349 Welcome to the Good Place. 155 00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:56,185 Sponsored by: 156 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,019 otters holding hands while they sleep. 157 00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,485 You know the way you feel when you see 158 00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:02,393 a picture of two otters holding hands? 159 00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:05,596 That's how you're gonna feel every day. 160 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:08,299 [applause] 161 00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:11,238 - So who is in the Bad Place, that would shock me? 162 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:13,507 - Uh, well, Mozart, 163 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,267 Picasso, Elvis, 164 00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:17,305 basically every artist ever, 165 00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:20,047 uh, every U.S. president except Lincoln. 166 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,177 - That sounds about right. 167 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,711 What about Florence Nightingale? 168 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,616 - That was close, but, no, she didn't make it. 169 00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,648 - Wow, all those amazing people 170 00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:29,523 down there, it just seems so hard to believe. 171 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:33,023 - Again, it's an incredibly selective system. 172 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,756 Most people don't make it here. 173 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:39,462 But you, a lawyer who got innocent people off death row, 174 00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:42,296 you're special, Eleanor. 175 00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:44,338 And by the way, 176 00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:46,468 welcome to your new home. 177 00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,473 Oh, it's perfect, isn't it? 178 00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,205 You see, in the Good Place, 179 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,140 every person gets to live in a home 180 00:06:52,146 --> 00:06:55,746 that perfectly matches his or her true essence. 181 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,149 - Cool. 182 00:06:57,151 --> 00:07:00,187 So I guess that's why my house, for example, 183 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,187 is this adorable little cottage, 184 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:05,619 whereas other people might have homes that are bigger, 185 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,026 like that one. 186 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,627 - Exactly. 187 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:11,029 Oh, I'm so happy you get it. 188 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,300 As you can see, the interior has been 189 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,200 decorated just as you like it, 190 00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:18,302 in the Icelandic primitive style. 191 00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:21,065 Oh, oh, and, uh, of course, 192 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,744 you love clowns, so... 193 00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:25,744 - I do love clowns. 194 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,446 - Now, let me show you the, uh-- 195 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,378 the video system here. 196 00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:31,183 [shimmering tone] 197 00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:33,415 You can review everything that happened in your life 198 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:36,457 from your point of view. 199 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,437 There we go. 200 00:07:38,441 --> 00:07:40,421 This is your Human Rights mission to the Ukraine. 201 00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:42,657 I mean, you got a ton of points for that one. 202 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:45,599 It really put you over the top. 203 00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:46,629 Oh. 204 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,533 Chidi, come on in. 205 00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:51,096 - Eleanor? 206 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,540 I'm Chidi Anagonye, 207 00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,510 and you are my soul mate. 208 00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:00,545 - Cool, bring it in, man. 209 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:01,647 - Now, excuse me. 210 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,517 I have other people to attend to. 211 00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,717 - So where you from, Chidi? 212 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:08,319 - Well, I was born in Nigeria, 213 00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,422 raised in Senegal, 214 00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,558 but my work took me all over the place-- 215 00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:14,458 Australia, Hong Kong, Paris. 216 00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:16,029 What about you? 217 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,398 - Uh, well, I-- I was born in Phoenix. 218 00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:19,998 - Mm-hmm. - Arizona. 219 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,669 And then I went to school in Tempe, Arizona. 220 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:27,209 And then I moved back to Phoenix, Arizona. 221 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,735 Your English is amazing. 222 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,443 - Oh! 223 00:08:31,445 --> 00:08:33,575 I'm actually speaking French. 224 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,449 This place just translates whatever you say 225 00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:37,579 into a language the other person can understand. 226 00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:39,484 So it's incredible. - Whoa. 227 00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:41,746 - And now I want to say this. 228 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,145 - Mm-kay. 229 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:44,286 - Eleanor. 230 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,527 I have spent my entire life 231 00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,687 in pursuit of fundamental truths about the universe. 232 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,126 And now we can actually learn about them 233 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:55,702 together as soul mates. 234 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:59,072 It's overwhelming. 235 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,372 - Chidi. 236 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:03,210 You'll stand by my side no matter what, right? 237 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,440 - Of course I will. 238 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:07,147 - Promise me. Say, "I promise 239 00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:10,347 I will never betray you for any reason." 240 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,718 - Eleanor, I swear 241 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:15,688 that I will never say or do anything 242 00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,689 to cause you any harm. 243 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,021 - Good. 244 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,556 Because those aren't my memories. 245 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,991 I wasn't a lawyer. I never went to the Ukraine. 246 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,196 I hate clowns. 247 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,998 There's been a big mistake. 248 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,401 I'm not supposed to be here. 249 00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:35,111 - Wait, what? 250 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,207 [light instrumental music] 251 00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:41,348 ♪ ♪ 252 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:44,117 [children chattering] 253 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,377 - Are you sure this isn't you? 254 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,145 - Yeah, man, I'm pretty sure 255 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,122 I wasn't a death row lawyer 256 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,691 who collected clown paintings 257 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,521 and rescued orphans. 258 00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:54,686 They got my name right, but nothing else. 259 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:58,295 I mean, somebody royally forked up. 260 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,728 Somebody forked up. 261 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,169 Why can't I say "fork"? 262 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,069 - If you're trying to curse, you can't here. 263 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,501 I guess a lot of people in this neighborhood 264 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,135 don't like it, so it's prohibited. 265 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,340 - That's bullshirt. 266 00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:10,410 - So, uh, if you're not this person, 267 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,210 then who are you? 268 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,347 What did you do for a living? 269 00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:16,547 - I was...in... 270 00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:17,580 sales. 271 00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,319 - So we sell two products here, 272 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,749 NasaPRO and NasaPRO Silver. 273 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,122 We aim this at seniors. 274 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,358 Now, you can't legally call it medicine 275 00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:27,527 because it doesn't technically work 276 00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:30,497 and it is technically chalk, 277 00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,597 so what you're gonna want to do-- 278 00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:32,758 - You need me to lie to old people 279 00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,626 and scare them into buying fake medicine. 280 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:37,095 I get it, man. Which one's my desk? 281 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:39,272 - So your job 282 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,508 was to defraud the elderly? 283 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:44,378 Sorry-- the sick and elderly? 284 00:10:44,378 --> 00:10:45,638 - But I was very good at it. 285 00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:48,076 I was the top salesperson five years running. 286 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,311 - Okay, but that's worse. 287 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,616 I mean, you--you do get how that's worse? 288 00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:53,418 Right? - Mm. 289 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,588 [indistinct chatter] 290 00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,418 You know, maybe... 291 00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:57,658 it's a test. 292 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,188 Maybe if you go to Michael 293 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,392 and you tell him the truth, 294 00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:01,994 you'll pass the test 295 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,025 and you'll get to stay. 296 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,130 - No way. 297 00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,431 I can't risk going to the Bad Place. 298 00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:07,401 - Okay, well, maybe it's not actually, like, 299 00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:08,531 all that bad. 300 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,535 Let's just get some information first. 301 00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:12,197 We'll ask Janet. Hey, Janet? 302 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:13,235 - Hi there. - Gah! 303 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,240 - How can I help you? 304 00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:15,741 - What the fork? Who are you? 305 00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:17,642 - I'm Janet. 306 00:11:17,643 --> 00:11:19,543 I'm the informational assistant here in the Good Place. 307 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:22,006 - She's like this walking database. 308 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,645 You can ask her about 309 00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:26,050 the creation of the universe or history-- 310 00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:27,653 - Oh, there was a guy who lived 311 00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:30,190 in Avondale, Arizona, around 2002. 312 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,090 His name was Kevin Paltonic. 313 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,760 Is he gay? - No. 314 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,090 - Really? Huh. 315 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:38,196 I guess he just didn't want to have sex with me. 316 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,528 - That's correct. 317 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,168 - Well, that's fine, I wasn't that into him anyway. 318 00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:42,428 - Yes, you were. - Okay, Janet, 319 00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:43,696 I have a question. - Okay. 320 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:46,540 - What is the Bad Place like? 321 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,640 - Oh, sorry, that is the one topic 322 00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:50,510 I'm not allowed to tell you about. 323 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:53,240 I can only play you a brief audio clip 324 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,506 of what is happening there right now. 325 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,295 - Okay. 326 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,080 [people yelling and screaming, mechanical buzzing] 327 00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:01,646 - The bear has two mouths! [people screaming] 328 00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:03,215 [sound stops] 329 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,759 - Well, it doesn't sound awesome. 330 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:08,089 [scoffs] 331 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:10,725 Does everyone have a huge house except me? 332 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,231 All right, we need a plan. 333 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,632 I say we just lie low 334 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,068 and hope that they don't notice me. 335 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,668 - I'm sorry, I don't think I can help you. 336 00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:18,438 I just don't like being dishonest, 337 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:21,638 and I can't advise you to be dishonest either. 338 00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:24,241 - Come on, I'm just asking you to fudge a little bit. 339 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,580 You must've told a few white lies in your life. 340 00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:28,830 I mean, what was your job? 341 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:31,081 - I was a professor of ethics and moral philosophy. 342 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,553 - Motherforker! 343 00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,453 - I'm getting a stomachache. 344 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,215 I'm in a perfect utopia, 345 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,658 and I'm--I have a stomachache. 346 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,458 This is awful. 347 00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:42,259 I-I, uh--I think I have to tell Michael about this. 348 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,162 - Tell Michael about what? 349 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,632 - Michael? Hi. 350 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,532 What have you been up to? 351 00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,569 - Eleanor, Chidi, I would like you to meet 352 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,369 Tahani and Jianyu. 353 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:52,571 They are soul mates 354 00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,772 and your next-door neighbors. 355 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,105 - Hello. 356 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,678 Can I just say I love your house? 357 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:02,078 It's just so tiny and cute. 358 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:03,650 It's like a little child's plaything, 359 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,150 like for a family of mice 360 00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:07,252 or for a very fancy little dog. 361 00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:11,324 I love it. It's just so sweet and teensy. 362 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,460 Just like you. Boop. 363 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,728 - Oh. - Oh. 364 00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:16,258 - You booped me. Ha-ha. 365 00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:18,063 - I did. - That's fun. 366 00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:19,764 - Tahani and Jianyu are having a little 367 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:22,096 welcome party tonight, and they've invited 368 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,602 the entire neighborhood. 369 00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:26,072 - [squeaks] - I simply adore entertaining. 370 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:29,042 Don't I just adore it, Jianyu? 371 00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:30,610 Oh, um, yes, by the way, 372 00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:33,380 Jianyu here is a Buddhist monk, you see? 373 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,249 And he obeys a strict code of silence. 374 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,749 So when you see him smiling and nodding, 375 00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:42,152 that's actually his way of jumping up and down with glee. 376 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,685 Isn't that right, darling? 377 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,688 So we'll see you tonight? 378 00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:48,428 - Great. - Yes. 379 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:51,498 [indistinct chatter] 380 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,567 [scoffs] - No way. 381 00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:57,237 [indistinct chatter] 382 00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:00,067 My entire house could fit in this room. 383 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:01,473 - Okay, uh... 384 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:02,474 help me out here. 385 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,235 Tell me one good thing 386 00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:06,079 that you did on Earth, 387 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:09,249 just one truly kind and decent act 388 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:12,119 so that I can feel better about helping you out. 389 00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:16,739 Let's forget about good. 390 00:14:16,739 --> 00:14:18,358 Um, just tell me something neutral about yourself. 391 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,258 Like, tell me about the day before you died. 392 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,190 What do you remember? 393 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,456 - Hi there. 394 00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:25,732 Do you have a second to talk about the environment? 395 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:28,568 - Do you have a second to eat my farts? 396 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:29,568 - You missed. 397 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:30,737 - [scoffs] Pick it up 398 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,367 if you're so horny for the environment. 399 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,741 I don't remember anything specific. 400 00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,109 - Oh. - Look. 401 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,409 I might not have been a saint, 402 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,479 but it's not like I killed anybody. 403 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,009 I wasn't an arsonist. 404 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,149 I never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and 405 00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:45,349 thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state 406 00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,020 so just took the cash and dropped the wallet 407 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,620 back on the ground. 408 00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:50,422 - Okay, that's really specific, 409 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,223 and that makes me think that you definitely did do that. 410 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,085 - All I'm saying is 411 00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,363 these people might be "good," 412 00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:59,799 but are they really that much better than me? 413 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,269 - Well, I spent half my life in North Korea 414 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:03,699 fighting for women's rights 415 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,303 and the other half in Saudi Arabia 416 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,235 fighting for gay rights. 417 00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,169 - So we said, "If the U.N. won't remove those land mines, 418 00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,135 we will." 419 00:15:11,143 --> 00:15:13,113 And we dug up over a thousand unexploded land mines 420 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,748 from the area surrounding the orphanage. 421 00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:16,308 - Well, then he said, 422 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,216 "You can't give me both your kidneys; you'll die." 423 00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,148 And I said, "But you will live. 424 00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:22,122 "And I know we just met on this bus ten minutes ago, 425 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,122 but you seem nice." 426 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,190 - [groans] Oh, forget it. 427 00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:25,659 Heading to the bar! 428 00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:27,459 [glass clinking] 429 00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,260 [polite applause] 430 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,531 - Thank you, thank you. 431 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:35,301 You all know that I am the architect of this neighborhood. 432 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,302 But what you don't know is... 433 00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:40,340 Golly, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but, um, 434 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,240 oh, what the heck? 435 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,611 This is actually the very first neighborhood 436 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,211 that I have ever designed. 437 00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:49,682 I had been an apprentice for over 200 years, 438 00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:51,751 and my boss has finally given me 439 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:54,187 my first solo project. 440 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,087 [murmurs and applause] Yes! 441 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:58,119 [laughs] 442 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,427 - Ah, gah-gah--gah-gah-gah. Hold on there, ace. 443 00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,127 Let me get more of them shrampies. 444 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,528 - Okay, easy. - What? 445 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:04,960 They're for everybody, right? 446 00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,295 - Yes, exactly. 447 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,169 - And you deserve a perfect world 448 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:12,739 because every single one of you 449 00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,008 is a good person. 450 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:17,208 That's it for me. Back to you, Tahani. 451 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:20,380 - Bravo, Michael, bravo! - Thank you. 452 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,510 - Um, and I would just like to quickly say 453 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,975 if any of you would like to play tennis tonight, 454 00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:28,185 we have 36 regulation grass tennis courts. 455 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,457 Such fun. Cheers. [laughs] 456 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:31,587 [applause] 457 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,591 - Tahani, what a condescending bench. 458 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:36,194 - Okay, okay, okay, okay. - Am I right? 459 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:38,096 Why does she still have that British accent, right? 460 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:39,598 No one else here has an accent. 461 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,229 She's choosing to have that accent. 462 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:42,234 - Shh-shh-shh-shh. 463 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,365 - [stodgily] "Oh, hello. 464 00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:46,071 "I am just a big, beautiful, 465 00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:48,472 utterly perfect cartoon giraffe." 466 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:49,765 - Oh, okay. Okay. - [laughing mockingly] 467 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:52,476 - I think it's time to go home. 468 00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,609 - Wait, wait, wait. I just have to go upstairs 469 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,750 real quick and steal a bunch of gold stuff. 470 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:59,680 - Okay, don't do that. 471 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,946 Don't do--no, Eleanor, Eleanor, Eleanor. 472 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,590 - Hello, creepy house that I hate. 473 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:10,063 Hello, one million clowns. 474 00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:13,063 Why aren't there stairs here? 475 00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,526 ♪ ♪ 476 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,002 [groans] 477 00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:19,302 What kind of weirdo house is this? 478 00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,065 Ooh. 479 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:24,077 - Did you fill your bra with shrimp? 480 00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,207 - No. 481 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,379 [hiccups] 482 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,379 Yes. 483 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,380 Whatever, it's freakin' heaven. 484 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,318 I'm sure they have plenty of shellfish. 485 00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:34,448 That Tahani is a real butthead, huh? 486 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,122 [gasps] Hey. 487 00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:38,322 At least I can still say "butthead." 488 00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:41,027 [groans] She is a butthead. 489 00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:44,527 - Found some pajamas. 490 00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:47,067 - Chidi-- Chidi, Chidi? 491 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:51,297 I'm sorry that you had to deal with this... 492 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,439 - It's okay. 493 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,007 - It's not, though. 494 00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:55,857 [sighs] 495 00:17:55,858 --> 00:17:57,708 Do you think anybody cared that I died? 496 00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,210 Maybe someone did. 497 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:00,680 I don't know. 498 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,280 I was an only child. 499 00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:04,482 My parents were divorced when I was a kid. 500 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,419 They were both crummy people, 501 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,519 so they're probably... 502 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:08,720 [imitates fart] 503 00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,657 in the Bad Place. 504 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:14,427 Maybe they're being used to torture each other. 505 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,527 It would work. 506 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,846 - [chuckles] 507 00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:20,156 - I bet way more people cared that you died. 508 00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:22,026 'Cause you're a nice person. 509 00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:23,425 [clears throat] 510 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,336 You're a nice person, Chidi... 511 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:29,339 Anaconda. 512 00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,342 - Anagonye. 513 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,011 - Aganocomonga. 514 00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,311 - Anagonye. 515 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,181 - Ags--say it again. - Anagonye. 516 00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:36,411 - No, say what you said before. 517 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,016 - I did. It's Anagonye. 518 00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:39,077 - You just changed it. 519 00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,585 - I didn't change it; it's my name. 520 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,447 - Argrugande. Ariana Grande. 521 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,055 [gasps] That's a person. 522 00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:46,057 I did it. 523 00:18:46,059 --> 00:18:48,259 Good night. 524 00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,262 - Good night. 525 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:52,731 [button clicks] 526 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,668 [playful music] 527 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:56,668 [people cheer] 528 00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,238 [playful musical flourish] 529 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,038 Well, that's terrifying. 530 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:03,269 - [snoring] 531 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:06,336 [thunder crashes, birds cawing] 532 00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:11,175 [thunder crashing] 533 00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:13,553 That can't be good. 534 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:16,053 [pop music] 535 00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:18,255 - ♪ I'm stronger than I've been before ♪ 536 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,558 ♪ This is the part ♪ 537 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,960 ♪ When I break free ♪ 538 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:25,362 ♪ 'Cause I can't resist it no more ♪ 539 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,565 - Oh, fork. 540 00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:30,027 - ♪ The part when I say I don't want ya ♪ 541 00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:33,096 ♪ I'm stronger than I've been before ♪ 542 00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:35,336 ♪ This is the part ♪ 543 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,577 ♪ When I break free ♪ 544 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:39,707 ♪ 'Cause I can't resist it no more ♪ 545 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,112 - Michael. - Mm? 546 00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:43,349 - Is that giant, terrifying ladybug 547 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,579 supposed to be there? 548 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:47,187 - Ah, well, great question, Tahani. 549 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,547 No. No, it's not. 550 00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,585 I have no idea why any of this is happening 551 00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:52,090 or how to control it. 552 00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:54,127 - Should we run away then? 553 00:19:54,127 --> 00:19:55,287 - Yes. 554 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:56,455 - ♪ It was lethal ♪ 555 00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:57,562 - Righto. 556 00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:59,164 - ♪ It was fatal ♪ 557 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:02,325 ♪ In my dreams, it just felt so right ♪ 558 00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:09,265 ♪ But I woke up every time ♪ 559 00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:10,775 ♪ Ooh, baby ♪ 560 00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,777 ♪ This is the part ♪ 561 00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:15,348 ♪ When I say I don't want ya ♪ 562 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:16,508 ♪ I'm stronger than I've been before ♪ 563 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,046 - Chidi, Chidi! 564 00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,419 What's going on? 565 00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:21,187 Why are there giant animals everywhere? 566 00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,747 Do you hear Ariana Grande playing? 567 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:27,356 Why is everyone wearing blue and yellow? 568 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,290 - You're not. 569 00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:31,225 You're--you're the only one who's not. 570 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:35,268 Eleanor, this is all happening because of you. 571 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:37,128 - Ah, fork me. 572 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,040 - Okay, okay. 573 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,058 We don't know this is because of me. 574 00:20:43,058 --> 00:20:45,078 - Eleanor, this place is a perfectly made Swiss watch, 575 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,778 and you are a wrench in the gears. 576 00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,448 Actually, you're a hammer, 577 00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,378 just smashing the gears into dust. 578 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:51,451 - Oh, hang on. 579 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,451 Not everybody here is perfect, okay? 580 00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,153 Tahani is totally condescending. 581 00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:57,123 And there are a couple of, 582 00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,691 you know, chunksters. 583 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,260 - Oh, come on! 584 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,090 - No judgment. I'm just saying 585 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,195 I'm not the only one with flaws. 586 00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:06,597 So how can we be sure this is my fault? 587 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:07,999 - You hogged all the shrimp, 588 00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:09,769 and now there are shrimp flying around. 589 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,738 You called Tahani a giraffe, 590 00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:13,438 and now there are giraffes everywhere. 591 00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:14,739 - Okay, fine, turns out there are many ways 592 00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,009 to know that it was me. 593 00:21:16,009 --> 00:21:17,169 - Let's just face it, Eleanor, 594 00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:18,676 you don't belong here. 595 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,080 - Well, then this system sucks. 596 00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:25,582 What, one in a million gets to live in paradise 597 00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:27,745 and everyone else is tortured for eternity? 598 00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,122 Come on. 599 00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:31,190 I mean, I wasn't freaking Gandhi, 600 00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:33,059 but I was okay. 601 00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:36,159 I was a medium person. 602 00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:39,198 I should get to spend eternity in a medium place! 603 00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:40,498 Like Cincinnati. 604 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,700 Everyone who wasn't perfect but wasn't terrible 605 00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:45,202 should get to spend eternity in Cincinnati. 606 00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:47,240 - Look, apparently it doesn't work that way. 607 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,770 I'm sorry, Eleanor, 608 00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:51,705 but there's nothing anyone can do. 609 00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:55,148 - Unless... 610 00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:57,048 there is something we can do. 611 00:21:57,050 --> 00:21:59,750 Unless you could teach me. 612 00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:01,220 - Teach you what? 613 00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:02,488 - How to be good. 614 00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:04,118 That was your job, right? 615 00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:06,059 A professor of ethics? 616 00:22:06,059 --> 00:22:08,459 No one knew I was a problem when I arrived. 617 00:22:08,461 --> 00:22:09,761 Things only started getting crazy 618 00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:12,231 after I was an ash-hole to everyone at the party. 619 00:22:12,231 --> 00:22:13,631 [groans] 620 00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:15,301 You know I'm trying to say "ash-hole" 621 00:22:15,301 --> 00:22:16,731 and not "ash-hole," right? 622 00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:17,736 - I got that, yes. 623 00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:19,737 - Okay, give me a chance. 624 00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,739 Let me earn my place here. 625 00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:24,210 Let me be your ethical guinea pig. 626 00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:25,240 [knock at door] 627 00:22:25,244 --> 00:22:26,479 - Hey, guys! 628 00:22:26,479 --> 00:22:28,379 Uh, emergency neighborhood meeting, now! 629 00:22:28,381 --> 00:22:30,211 - We'll be right there, Michael! 630 00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:32,076 If I walk out of here in these clothes, 631 00:22:32,085 --> 00:22:33,245 I'm toast. 632 00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:35,688 My soul is in your hands, soul mate. 633 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,418 What's it gonna be? 634 00:22:37,423 --> 00:22:39,192 [knock at door] 635 00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:40,760 [thunder crashes]